When you want to soothe baby’s bottom
all red and sore and whiffy,
you just can’t beat petrolatum
it’ll moisturise in a jiffy.
Of course you could use veg oil
Or perhaps an ester or two,
The first is entirely natural,
But is hi-tech better for you?
If you enter the silicone jungle,
You’ll not find your way out, ever
Dow has mixed and mingled and mungled
Compounds incredibly clever.
And so back to petrolatum,
Greasy and rather inflammable,
Best to stay away from the flame
Or risk a fate worse than terrible.